Thursday, August 30, 2007

Restaurant Etiquette

  • When entering a restaurant, allow the host/hostess to greet you. Do not interrupt the greeting with, "TABLE FOR TWO. NEAR A WINDOW."
  • While the server is reciting the specials, do not wrinkle your nose in disgust. Do not use words such as "gross," "ew," and "disgusting." Kitchen staff has worked hard to create said specials.
  • Allow your server to greet you before barking your drink order. We will ask you what you would like to drink. Do not interrupt our spiel to ask about ther soup or the specials. We will tell you, I promise. And if you do not appreciate the spiel, do not eat in fine dining establishments. The spiel is part of the territory.
  • Please, pay attention while your server is speaking to you. Example.

Server: "I will return with bread and tea. Can I get you anything else right now?"

Table: "YES. Bread and tea."


  • Families with children. Do not allow your children to run amok in the restaurant. It is dangerous to all. Tip your server accordingly. Picking smeared pasta off the floor and gathering scattered/exploded sugar packets for a ten percent tip and $2.13 an hour is disheartening at best. Please find out what your child would like to eat before your server approaches to take your order. We have many other tables in need of our service. Example.

Parent to child: "Sweetie, how about the grilled cheese. No? How abouuuuut...the pasta. No again? Well...what about chicken. you have hot dogs here? No? What about burgers? No...hmmm..."

By this point, my four other tables are giving me the Hairy Eyeball. Hairy Eyeball...DO NOT WANT K THNX.

  • Good things come to those who are good to their server. By tipping well? Yes. Of course. But also by being polite. Using common sense. Being appreciative. If you are good to us, we remember. And we return the favor.

OK. Rant over. Off to get a COLLLLD BEEEEEEER.

And do it all over again tomorrow.

Monday, August 20, 2007


When will you/did you tell your kids the truth about Santa?

Part of me thinks that this should be the year.

Part of me wants to hold out one more year.


Saturday, August 18, 2007


Yah, so I didn't pay the internet bill? Because I buried the bill under other bills? Then spent the money for the internet bill on copious amounts of frivolous groceries?

So. No internet or cable for two weeks. But lots of salted, roasted, in-the-shell peanuts. And Caramel Cream Diet Pepsi.

Um...I don't know how to say this without offending my family, but IT'S HOT AS SHIT UP HERE. I know, my acclimated ass deserves no pity after living in southern Louisiana for as long as I did. BUT. Ninety degrees without A/C bites.

Family update. Joe is workingworkingcookingcookingworking. 'Tis the season for us restaurant folk. August...the last hurrah for the Floridians and the country clubbers. They are flooding to the restaurant in droves. We have three events in the near future that are keeping us sane.

  1. Kristin and Luke's wedding.
  2. Food show at the Biltmore.

  3. Widespread Panic, in Asheville, on Halloween, with Kristin and Luke. We have the best babysitters imaginable (only ones better would be family) and a hotel room as a gift from Mommy (THANK YOU AGAIN).

Seth starts school on Thursday. Football about a week later. Oughta be interesting. Will defintely post video.

Speaking of video:

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Who wants a TV?

Man, I do. I mean, I have one, but...I want THIS ONE.

Here. You can try for it, too.

Change of subject. Check out this plane that Seth built.

Is that not just, amazing? Look at the pointy, teeth-like accents. And it has the capability to land on water. I mean, DAMN. The boy can build.