Thursday, August 30, 2007

Restaurant Etiquette

  • When entering a restaurant, allow the host/hostess to greet you. Do not interrupt the greeting with, "TABLE FOR TWO. NEAR A WINDOW."
  • While the server is reciting the specials, do not wrinkle your nose in disgust. Do not use words such as "gross," "ew," and "disgusting." Kitchen staff has worked hard to create said specials.
  • Allow your server to greet you before barking your drink order. We will ask you what you would like to drink. Do not interrupt our spiel to ask about ther soup or the specials. We will tell you, I promise. And if you do not appreciate the spiel, do not eat in fine dining establishments. The spiel is part of the territory.
  • Please, pay attention while your server is speaking to you. Example.

Server: "I will return with bread and tea. Can I get you anything else right now?"

Table: "YES. Bread and tea."


  • Families with children. Do not allow your children to run amok in the restaurant. It is dangerous to all. Tip your server accordingly. Picking smeared pasta off the floor and gathering scattered/exploded sugar packets for a ten percent tip and $2.13 an hour is disheartening at best. Please find out what your child would like to eat before your server approaches to take your order. We have many other tables in need of our service. Example.

Parent to child: "Sweetie, how about the grilled cheese. No? How abouuuuut...the pasta. No again? Well...what about chicken. you have hot dogs here? No? What about burgers? No...hmmm..."

By this point, my four other tables are giving me the Hairy Eyeball. Hairy Eyeball...DO NOT WANT K THNX.

  • Good things come to those who are good to their server. By tipping well? Yes. Of course. But also by being polite. Using common sense. Being appreciative. If you are good to us, we remember. And we return the favor.

OK. Rant over. Off to get a COLLLLD BEEEEEEER.

And do it all over again tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

Oh, God. Could I love you anymore?! Amen sista! --KB

Amber said...

My philosophy - discriminating as it may be - is this: If you haven't worked in a restaurant, you have no business eating in one.

Nuff said.