You might be an asshole if...

Ahhhhhhhh Waiter. Oh how I love thee...

One more reason why I love it here

Behold. The local park.

Stacy London

Ya'll watch "What Not to Wear" on TLC?

Stacy London. I think I have a girlcrush.

Impeccably dressed. Long, dark, shining locks. Drop dead gorgeous. And the Queen Bee of Smart Asses. I bow to you, Stacy. And I'm taking your shoes while I'm down there.

Joe insists that I NEED TO BE ON THE SHOW. My wardrobe...

HOME: Yoga pants and tank tops. With the bra built in. Because I'm a nursing mom, dammit! It's all about conVEEEENience.

OUT: Jeans. Black turtleneck. I also have a grey one. When I'm feeling frisky, I'll wear a green one.

Now, this is going to change come summer. I swear.

Stacy. Help me. Or at least split a bottle of wine with me.

Notes to Self

1. Call Hope tomorrow, to wish her a Happy Birthday.
2. Go to grocery. Stock up on lunch/dinner stuff for Seth. Get beer.
3. Call Julie to finalize plans for Monday.
4. NEED DIAPERS. Sam's Club run?
5. Burn CD's of old photos for T, Arcenia, and Joanne.
6. Water plants.
7. Figure out how to tie a knot in fishing line THAT STAYS TIED, so I can hang suncatchers.
8. Get mouse for Sammy.
9. Never, ever, in my whole entire life say "Spring has sprung!" Cuz DAMN:



Damn damn damn.

Chat

Jackson's extreme close up, with additional commentary by the baby himself.



All this time, I thought he loved the camera. Was one with the camera. Until I looked at the front of the camera, and saw the hypnotic red light.

Asleep

Look at this.















ASLEEP. In the Crib of Doom.

Of course, he is on his belly. Big fat no no, for fear of The SIDS. So I've checked on him every five minutes. And there is no way in hell I'm gonna let him sleep like this at night. For fear of The SIDS.

But he is napping for now, face down, and has been napping for an hour. This is progress, people. PROGRESS!

(Insert squeals of joy and delight)

Moving. Again. Sometime. Maybe.

Jenny is moving, which got me chewing on our own thoughts of moving. Again.

We are considering it. And our reasons are financial.

This area of North Carolina is absolutely gorgeous. Every time I see Grandfather Mountain, I am blown away by the beauty of it. Spring is fresh...the air smells of cedar and new grass. Summers are warm and breezy. It never, and I mean NEVER, gets above 80 degrees. Fall bursts with red, and gold, and orange. Winter...well, winter sucks for me. But I don't like to be cold. Or drive in the snow. You have never seen whiter knuckles on a steering wheel. Or wider eyes behind a windshield.

For the first time in my life, I have a core group of really good, solid friends. Some single, some not. Some without kids, and a whole bunch with. We BBQ'ed yesterday, to celebrate the time change. I have the oldest and the youngest children in the group, with Seth being eight and Jackson at twelve weeks. Then, in between, we've got two more babies, a toddler, and three more school-agers. We drank beer and sangria, ate some killer food, and had a freaking awesome time. I have Momfriends. Joe has Dadfriends. Who'da thunk it? Shocks the hell out of me.

Seth is established in a school that scooped him up and really, truly looks out for him.

HOWEVER.

This area SUCKS for work in the restaurant biz. A business in which Joe and I thrive. Joe has been cooking for sixteen years, and I won't even divulge his current salary. It would make you cry. So we are looking elsewhere, for an area that rewards a chef with pay that befits a professional. A place where truly great food is appreciated, loved, embraced. A city where maybe, just maybe, I can get a job in a business I adore, being something other than a server. I have run a restaurant before. And I haven't stopped wanting to do it again.

It makes me so sad that we may have to leave here to find that.

So the future is unknown, as always! And I hope that by chasing the dream of doing what we love, we are rewarded. With happiness, satisfaction, contentment. And yeah, I'm gonna say it...mo' money. Just a wee bit more.

Gratuitous baby pic, with a message:

COW

Three minutes of video of Jackson and SOCKCOW!

Interesting to the family.

Boring to all others.

But, it's my blog, so suffer...mwahahahahahahaha....

Deficit

Lack of posts due to lack of sleep. Lack of sleep = lack of brain function.

But Jackson, he is easy on the eyes, no?


















Look at how much he looks like Joe. DNA is a trip.




















If, and that is a big honking IF, this baby goes to bed tonite, I will update.

If these don't make you smile...

you have a cold, cold heart...

Cut

Before...

















After.


















It was time. I had wayyyy too much hair. I wanted to cut it when I was pregnant, but felt too unstable, er...irrational....no,wait...emotional? Um, yeah. All three. So now that I am over the whole pregnant/postpartum crazies, I chopped it all off. And OH IT FEELS SO GOOD.

Baby smiles. Enjoy!

Gratitude

You know how, a few weeks ago, I was bitching to high heaven about my lack of sleep?

Ha. Ha!

Jackson woke up early the other morning. Early, as in, two freaking thirty in the AM. And it was party time, ya'll! We partied until 8AM. Hell yeah! Jackson cried, I cried, I ate Joe's head like a praying mantis...

Last night, it was back to normal. Normal being little two hour snippets of sleep.

I arose this morning, refreshed. I told Joe, "It's like that Eddie Murphy skit, about the cracker."

WARNING: It's Eddie. It's foul. I love him. Ok...





When you get NO SLEEP AT ALL, little two hour snippets are the best cracker EVAH. I never in my life thought I'd be eternally grateful for a crappy night's sleep. But grateful I am.

OhPleaseLetMeHaveAnotherNightOfBrokenSleepPleasePleasePlease

That's Bottle Time

Watch in awe, the joy and vigor that Jackson displays at the mere sight of a bottle. His enthusiasm is awesome and aspiring.

*snort of laughter*

Random stuff

This one goes out to all those breastfeeding mamas out there...














Self-explanatory...











I think they know something we don't.















The rabbits are all, "SCORE, DUDES."















Yes. I have been here before.







Remember this weird creaturething? From "The Dark Crystal?"







For the love of cow

Snow Day

Tagged

Jeanne got me.

Rules: Each player of this game starts with the 6 weird things/habits about you. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. I love cows. A lot. They make me smile.

2. I have an obsession with Zebra Sarasas. 1.0mm. Black. They are the only pen I will write with. And I will search every store known to man to find them. They are divine. I lend them to no one.

3. I absolutely hate the sound of people chewing their food. Smacking, to be more precise.

4. I'm a picker. Sunburned skin...zits...noses, including mine, Seth's, Jackson's, and Joe's. It is just so satisfying to get a big booger out of Jackson's nose with that blue bulb sucker thingee from the hospital.

5. I suck at reverse. Whether I'm riding or driving. It makes me nervous. And I run over things while going backwards. Just ask my dad's Chinese maple.

6. I hate to have things in my face. Rain and bugs drive me nuts. I'll desperately flail my hands around trying to remove said objects from the vicinity of my face. And I have been to the eye doctor exactly twice in my life. I had to be restrained both times.

Higher and higher

Stolen from Cinnamon...

Reperkification

The demo is incredible.

Police

First things first. Gratuitous Baby Photos.












































OK. Now. Check this...

My Dream Come True

Those who know me will immediately understand.

The Police. THE FREAKING POLICE.

I have loved them since I was twelve. The summer I spent at my grandma's house in Niagara Falls. "Every Breath You Take" came on TV, and I sat one foot from the screen, transfixed. I have been in love with Sting, Stewart, and Andy...all at separate times. I would stay up until 3AM, waiting for the World Premiere Video on MTV of any Police/Sting video. As a teenager, my room was wallpapered with posters, magazine articles, ANYTHING with The Police on it. I made it to one Sting concert, ever. And I don't think I spoke a word the entire time. And now...now they are reuniting. And coming to Bonnaroo. A mere hours from here. Joy. Unbelievable joy!

Tickets for Bonnaroo are $184.50. A person. If you are lucky and get 'em early. Oh my Holy God. I am gonna miss The Police again.

*sigh*

I'm gonna go cry now, and wipe my tears on my tattered Police t-shirt.

Peek

More video from the Turner/Wolf clan...