Balls

When I picked up Seth from camp today, he and his camp leader walked over to talk. Leader says that Seth grabbed a kid in gym and he wanted to apologize, but couldn't find the boy he grabbed. I was all proud of Seth's realization that he made a mistake, and his wanting to fix it. Joy!

In the car, after camp...

Seth: Mom, I have to talk to you about something.

Me: Sure. Do tell.

Seth: Well. Don't be mad.

Me: Nah. Go ahead.

Seth: Today, in the gym, I grabbed some kids' balls.

Me: (struggling to remain calm) Wha? Wait...huh? Why? In what context? Was anyone else doing it? Like a game? Were you wrestling?

Seth: I know it's wrong, mom. I am really sorry.

Me: One kid or many? Why? Balls? Really?

Seth: Yeah, balls. A few kids' balls.

Me: (beginning the life lesson) OK. We have talked about respecting other people's space. You have to respect other people's private parts, you know? We've talked about this, remember?

Seth: Mom. The balls in the GYM. Soccer balls..basketballs...you know.


Somebody. Help. Me.

The pregnancy hormones have addled my brain. Eaten my reasoning skills. Rendered me STOOOOPID.